yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
