so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
