If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
