WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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