It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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