in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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