just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Houston, we have a blender
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
