Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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