maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I wish they made helmets for livers.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
My ATM looks so different sober.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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