it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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