Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
