Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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