mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
