we have officially lost it.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
