Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
