he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
