the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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