I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
