she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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