hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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