Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
