I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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