I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize