i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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