id be glad to
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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