I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
as a side note pls kill me
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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