We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
