Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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