she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
