Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
