I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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