Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
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