i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
