Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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