I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
