Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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