It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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