So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
