i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
