Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
