She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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