So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
