Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
