Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize