If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
