So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
