I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
