my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
