Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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