coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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